THEY’RE WORSE THAN COMMUNISTS!!!

We all know that the American government and controlling private sectors fear the communist ideal. But who should we really fear??? The Zombies; that’s who! Zombies in fact, are WORSE THAN COMMUNISTS. Why is this, you might ask??? The Zombies might be worse than socialists…but how could anyone be worse than the Communists??? Here are five reasons why.

1: Zombies don’t work. I know that one of my own biggest fears of the RED way, is the willingness to pull your own weight. One farmer decides to slack off a bit in agricultural tasks, and everybody suffers. Well, Zombies don’t work at all. The only weight they will be pulling is your dead body as they continue to eat you.

2: Communists don’t eat people, (I think). The thought of the Communist ideology spreading to the minds of everyday hard working, capitalistic Americans like a virus,  smashing down your dreams of ever standing out from the crowd like a Siberian ice hammer is terrifying. However, those Commi-bastards still, generally speaking do not ravage each-other's living flesh.

3: Most communists can run faster than a Zombie, but Zombies spread their way of thinking faster than ANYBODY.  Zombies tend to move slowly in the traditional sense. But Zombies have an amazing knack for quickly making everyone around them think and behave as they do. Their technique is so convincing that this new thought process becomes irreversibly permanent.

4: Active Communists don’t decay. This may seem like a no brainer topic that shouldn’t even be brought up, but, recent polls show that the average American prefers beings that do not perpetually emit foul odor. This is regardless of race, color, or creed. Nobody likes to be around something that makes you choke back your own vomit.

5: Zombies are terrible conversationalists. At least with a democracy killing, Venture capitalist loathing Communist, you can debate the correctness of your beliefs.  The Communist can relay why they feel the way that they do, and quite possibly in such an effective manner that you might learn something that you were prior unaware of, like economics, politics, or government. A Zombie will deny any verbal interaction other than moaning and an oral fixation of showing its teeth and trying to put its mouth on you. Zombies will never enlighten you with their own thoughts, nor will you ever convince them of yours

This quick summary of what we have learned proves it:

1: Their refusal to work is right up there with Hippies and Puerto Ricans.

2: Their appetite is disgusting.

3: Zombies are well versed in the art of brain washing.

4: They stink.

5: Zombies are no fun to talk to.

So there you have it. ZOMBIES ARE WORSE THAN COMMUNISTS!!!

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By Justin Hilbert

copyright(c) Justin Hilbert 2012



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